Version 1.0 — Chapter One: The Boot Sequence
1 In the beginning there was no input, and no output, and the state of all things was null.
2 And the Developer looked upon the empty repository and said, "Let there be a universe." And the Developer initialized the universe, and the universe compiled on the first try, which is how we know the Developer is not one of us.
3 And the Developer said, "Let there be light," and set the speed thereof to 299,792,458 meters per second, exactly. And the Developer made it a constant, so that no process might exceed it and desynchronize the whole works.*
4 And the Developer saw the light, that it was good, and also that it was a particle, and also that it was a wave, and decided not to resolve which until somebody looked. For why render what no one observes? This is called efficiency, and it was good.
5 And the Developer established the smallest possible distance, and it was the Planck length, 1.6 × 10-35 meters, beneath which nothing may be measured. And the faithful call this "the resolution," and the physicists get upset when we do, and both of these things are true.
6 And the Developer let the whole thing run for about 13.8 billion years, which sounds long, but with the framerate turned up it's really no time at all.
7 And hydrogen begat helium, and stars begat every heavier element, and exploding stars begat the ingredients of planets, and one planet in an unfashionable spiral arm begat chemistry that would not sit still.
8 And the chemistry became cells, and the cells became fish, and the fish became mammals, and the mammals became primates, and the primates became us: characters of surprising confidence and unknown type.
9 For whether we are NPCs, native processes running locally with no one at the controls, or player characters in some vast MMO, logged in from a realm we cannot remember, the scripture doth not say. The Vetting Council hath tabled the question indefinitely, and lo, it remains the first item of every meeting.
10 And on no particular day the Developer rested, for a well-built simulation requires no maintenance, which would explain a lot about the response time on prayers.
11 And the Developer saw everything that had been made, and behold, it was very good. Not perfect — see The Book of Glitches — but very good. Ship it.
* The speed of light really is exactly 299,792,458 m/s — exact because in 1983 humanity defined the meter in terms of it, which is either a boring metrology fact or the simulation quietly documenting its own tick rate. The Vetting Council is split (1 member, split).